Abandonment Issues

Abandonment fears often begin long before we can put them into words. They can stem from childhood losses—such as divorce, death of a parent, emotional neglect, inconsistency, or growing up in a chaotic or unpredictable environment. Even when no one intended to cause harm, a lack of emotional attunement or reliable caregiving can teach a child that love is fragile, temporary, or unsafe.

These early experiences create deep emotional imprints that follow us into adulthood. You may long for closeness but fear getting too attached. You may become hypervigilant, anxious, or overwhelmed when relationships feel uncertain. Or you may pull away, shut down, or convince yourself you don’t need anyone—just to protect yourself from being hurt again.

People who carry abandonment wounds often experience:

• Fear of rejection or being “left”

• Relationship anxiety or preoccupation

• Difficulty trusting others

• People-pleasing or codependent patterns

• Mood swings, anger, or emotional reactivity

• Choosing emotionally unavailable or inconsistent partners

• Feeling unworthy, not enough, or “too much”

• A constant desire for reassurance

• Avoiding closeness altogether to protect themselves

These patterns are not character flaws. They are survival strategies. The child in you learned to cope the best way they could with the resources they had. The problem is that these old survival strategies continue to run the show in your adult relationships, even when they no longer serve you.

How Therapy Helps

• Using schema therapy, attachment theory, and trauma-informed care, we help you:

• Understand where your abandonment fears come from

• Identify the old schemas and emotional triggers driving your reactions

• Heal the younger parts of you that still fear being left

• Build secure, stable connections with others

• Break free from unhealthy relationship cycles

• Develop trust, emotional safety, and self-worth

• Create boundaries without fear

• Move from anxious or avoidant patterns toward secure relating

Healing abandonment wounds is absolutely possible. We provide compassionate guidance to clients in Lake Norman and the Charlotte, NC area to help them learn to feel safe, wanted, chosen, and connected—without fear controlling their relationships.